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Not in a place where you can listen? The transcript is below, but you get to hear the sounds of the water in the audio 😅 Highly recommend the audio experience! 

0:00  

I just want to sit, read some mystical shit, transmute the ideas into paintings, sell those for six figures, and keep on living my best life. I just got the most profound level of clarity today. It might sound a little echoey y'all. 

0:16  

Welcome. Welcome co-creators, I'm in the tub! I'm in the tub. I don't know if you can hear the water. Why do I get my best ideas, like, in water? Usually when I'm in the shower, or when I'm taking a bath? Let me just, let me just grab my phone. Let me record, I'm actually journaling. I don't know if anybody else does this, please comment in the comments. Let me know if you journal in the tub, it's a bit of a magic trick because you got to keep the pages you don't want the pages to get wet. You don't want the ink to be dripping. Okay, so it's an art. It's a delicate art to journal in the tub. And that's what I've been doing. And that's what I wrote down. And literally, what I want to do. Well, I'm not even going to say what I want. What I'm going to do, I'm speaking this, what I am doing. The affirmation for my life is that: I sit, read some mystical shit, transmute those ideas into paintings, sell those paintings for six figures, and keep on living my best life. And that's really what I want to do. To a certain extent, I already do that. And I always try to remind myself, like, whenever you think that you're looking for something outside, always look within first. And many of the times what we're looking for is right in front of our face, is right in front of our eyes. And it's literally something that's already either, one, taken place, or won't even be fulfilled by an external experience that you gain, but is literally a mental shift that takes place inside your subconscious. And I'm having this subconscious shift. But I'm also having this resistance and it's like, uh, like this, this resistance is bothering me so much. And it's something that I've struggled with for so long. It's something that I've shared that I've talked about, and honestly, I don't even talk about it as much as it's bothering me on an internal level. Like, I'm gonna just be 100%. So, if you found me on YouTube, then you might have seen a video where I talk about, I think I titled it: fear of inaccessibility.

2:48  

 And I recently made an Instagram post, as well. Hella long Instagram post. If you haven't seen that post, I'm gonna link it down in the description of this Patreon post. But it was a very long caption where I talked about: artists don't owe you accessibility and a lot of artists commented on that and it resonated with so many people. And y'all, whenever I talk about this stuff, it's really a message that I need to hear first and foremost, I feel like they always talk about in business, the most successful products that you create is literally one where you're solving a problem that you personally have. And a lot of the stuff that I'm saying and I'm sharing is something, I'm always speaking to myself first okay, I never like to be preachy or never try to tell anybody what they're trying to do because we're all on our own journey. But even more importantly, the stuff that I be saying before me, okay, I be need to remind myself, like Aramis, you don't owe anybody accessibility. Affordability is subjective. What sort of limiting beliefs do you need to unlearn to get you past this thing of, like guilt, you know? It's just like so weird. It's weird. And I don't think heavy is the best word but it feels shackling, it feels like I have this ball and chain on my ankle. And it's like, I'm trying to run but it's like, no, no, no, come on back. And it's like, I try to sprint and it's like, no, it's just yanks me, keeps yanking me back and I'm like, what the hell is this? You literally need to release this and let this go. This has nothing to do, like, you aren't punishing anybody or taking anything away from anybody. You share so much. You give so much, you show up so much. You make yourself available, you give so much of your time, your energy, your light, your art, like, you literally been selling $20 prints for five years. 

4:44  

Okay! And, but okay, see, first of all, Gemini! Okay. I always have two conversations going on in my mind. So I'm gonna tell yall what the conversation be. So I say that on one side than the other little, the other little twin on the other shoulder be like: Well, yeah, but there's people, there's always new people finding you. So even though, you've been doing this for so many years, like the new people who come in, what about them? But then the other twin be like, GIRL! People are always gonna be finding you, you're always gonna be new to somebody. So it's like, I just always think about Beyoncé. Okay, I have this plaque on my desk that says: What would Beyoncé do? There's still, now of course, there's probably aren't new people meeting Beyoncé  because the girl been in the game for like over 25 years at this point. But there's still always somebody who was going to be new to your journey. And I just be thinking about, like, if Beyoncé kept doing just like little talent shows at her elementary school, we wouldn't be able to experience the magnetic, phenomenal, amazing goddess that she is. I'm so grateful that she bloomed.

6:07  

I am so grateful... that she gave herself permission to do that...

6:15  

Because I know how hard it is. I know how hard it is y'all. I talked about this in the Patreon tutorial. In that video. I'm a comment creeper. Okay, I got no shame. I'm a comment creeper. Ya girl be reading. That's probably the problem. I'm consuming too many opinions. I consume, like social commentary and reading different comments,  sometimes you just gotta shut all that shit off and just go! Do what you need to do. Don't worry about what the fuck somebody gonna say or how somebody is gonna feel because the people who resonate with that those are the people that you're touching. And Beyoncé haters, Beyoncé ain't worryin' bout them, boo. She over here bloomin for me, giving me permission to bloom too. You know so it's like that's the person who's doing it for. Fuck somebody, fuck the Beyoncé hater! If you a Beyoncé hater, you need to leave the Patreon community now. Okay, cuz I'll stand for that. Leave right now. LOL!

7:18  

Looks like seriously though. I'm not even about to hit a full JK on that one. Okay. No, I mean, of course, you can stay ;)

7:29  

Don't bring no Beyoncé hate my way cuz ya girl is a stand all the way. 100%. Why? Because of the courage. As a creator. First of all, let me calm down because I know this audio might be a mess. I'm in this echoey-ass bathroom and I'm splashing around in a tub like a three year old child with a rubber ducky. Okay, let me simmer down. I'mma simmer down. Okay. Now, the reason why I have so much respect for the queen, is because I know how scary it can be to live out loud in this motherfucking world. Y'all sharing your art, putting yourself out there. I'm not even about to play with you. I'm not even about to, it is scary. Like, I don't know, I don't know why people be thinking. Somebody had even mentioned this in the live stream on the Patreon tutorial. Was it? Was it Devon? I think it was Devon. He said going online is intimidating. And then of course, that threw me in a whole rant about courage. But it's so true. Because it is intimidating. And yall the people who be showing up online, we're literally just, we're scared as the next person. We not some magical beings out here who not afraid. I'm fucking afraid every single time. But it gets better with practice. Every time it gets better and better and you get stronger and stronger. But at the same time, you come up to more resistance, the more people who see you, the more your audience grows, the more you get provided with just different opportunities. There's like different, it's just different. Like it's similar, but it's different, I guess. Honestly, it's the same. When you peel back the layers, it's the same type of fear. Because really, at the end of the day, there's only two types of emotions, there's fear and love. So we all dealing with some level of fear. What I'm saying is that at different levels of your career, there's just going to be different types of fears that presents itself. So maybe in the beginning, it's like are people gonna like this? Is this going to be good? Is this going to be well received? And then once you put yourself out there, you get that accomplished, it becomes well received. Now it's another fear, like oh, well, do people think that I sold out or am I going to be too big? Or like,

10:00  

There's like different types of things that come up. I think you get what I mean when I say that. And it's just like so even when you conquer one thing, you keep going, and there's another thing, you're like, Okay, I have to overcome this and you keep going, you like, whoa, okay, past that test, okay. Next one, you just keep going and keep going and keep going. And what's amazing is I feel stronger and stronger, with each moment, but I think I just need to continue just to check in, you know, so this is just like a mental check in with myself. And the person who is my example is Beyoncé, because she's just like everything to me. Just the shit that the Queen has been through. And it's like, when you on that level of a global stage, so many opinions and so much feedback that you're dealing with, and how hard it can be to create when there's so many people who have expectations about what your creative process should look like, or what you have to do, like just so many different things that for her to still be showing up in her career inspires me as an artist, because I just be thinking: Okay, so what about when I want to switch it up and maybe paint something different and do some more abstract work or play around with, you know, nature elements, or just like so many different things? I just never want to feel like I'm trapped into a box, you know? 

11:16  

So, yeah, I'm saying that to say, I'm claiming who I am and who I am is somebody who's not in a box, I'm about to continuously change, grow and evolve. And I'm letting go of this ball and chain that's keeping me held down around: not wanting to be... Help me out in the comments! Okay, is this? Is this a woman thing? Is this a black woman? Is a black person thing? Is this a young person? Is this somebody? Is this a thing for somebody who like grew up in poverty in the Southside of Chicago? Like, what is this? You know, and I think that we all have a level of comfort in our identity. You know? And I think that.. this makes me think about Jen Sincero, I love Jen Sincero, she's an author, a coach, motivational speaker, like all the things. She wrote a book, "you are a badass". She had a whole series of them, and I read all four of them. But this makes me think about her book, "you are a badass at making money". And I think she talked about just our different limiting beliefs around money. And it's almost second nature in our culture to "eat the rich", you know? Like to have this sort of negative connotation about people who earn money. And so I honestly, I feel like these are the beliefs that keep regular everyday people shackled, because we're afraid to be a part of this rich community because like, so many of us has talked bad about rich people for so long. But when you actually try to become one, you need to release those beliefs, but also release this level of guilt and shame that can be associated with it. It's like, it's crazy. I know y'all get what I mean. And I appreciate that. So I'm not even about to over explain that because this philosophy has been talked about a lot in many different books that I read, especially around money and especially around releasing those limiting beliefs around money.

13:23  

So yeah, I think more people just need to be celebrated with just putting yourself out there because that's not an easy feat. y'all. And, I never want to make it seem easy. Or like I'm just out here on some... Now social media actually is fun for me. It's that element where I'm an extroverted bubbly person, so I do like putting myself out there and I like being on camera. I like talking. But at the same time, it's still very scary. Okay, especially when you goddamn goof troop, like I am. Y'all, I'm telling you, I be reeling it in. Y'all should see the stuff that I edit out. Like if you think I'm silly in my YouTube videos, you should see the stuff that doesn't make the cut. I'm like, Girl, no, stop it! Edit that, cut that, cut that out. You a whole clown. Okay, a whole clown and I just have fun. This whole life is just like a game to me, it really is. And I just find so much joy in it and so much play.

14:21  

 And those are the moments that I enjoy when I just remember like, right okay, yeah, we are in this beautiful cosmic game just like living our best life, having fun, you know? It doesn't have to be so serious. It doesn't have to be so intense. So those are the moments that just keep me grounded. But actually, what's interesting, I think it actually doesn't even keep me grounded. I think it actually up roots me, it pulls my roots out of this ground, out of this illusion of this physical earth plane where we thinking: Oh, this stuff is so important and so real and so, etc. Fly up above the clouds and just remember who you are. Remember that you are source having an experience and incarnate. You literally have reincarnated into this beautiful black woman vessel who can paint cosmic queens, have fun with this experience and with your time here. Let it go, you know? And so those are the moments that remind me who I am and remind me to stay connected to the infinite source and the infinite one. And I'm just like, oh, oh. Did that just? Did that just come in? That just came in. Sure did. It was just a download. It just came in for me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I am so grateful for infinite intelligence y'all. 

15:54  

So I'mma tell y'all the other last thing. My last thing that I wrote in my journal, before I wrap this up. The last thing that I wrote is: "It's happening. You just have to wait & witness. Wait & witness. Wait i& witness. Wait & witness. Wait & witness. Wait & witness. Yes, I wrote it that many times. It was just coming out like a mantra. It's here. It's literally here, like, and what's crazy is that I'm literally waiting. I'm waiting to hear from the Black Rock residency. I'm waiting to hear back from the spiritual art grant. I'm waiting to go home and see my mom and help her with a knee surgery in Chicago. Like there's just, I'm waiting for the Zodiac Show. There's just so many things that I'm waiting on. And they're here. They're here. They're happening. It's fine. You just have to wait and witness, so I'm just so grateful for you. If you made it this far. Thank you for taking the time to listen to this...bathtub rant! Is that what we're gonna call these? Are we calling these Bathtub Rants, like I don't know. Let me know what we should call these audio recordings of me just splashing around in the tub. Okay? 

17:18  

Thank y'all so much. Let me know if this resonated with you. Let me know if this speaks to your heart in any way. I would love to hear your feedback on it. I'm sending you all the love, all the light that I can muster and I just hope you remember that everything you need is right in front of you. It's right in front of you and it's right within you. And you are it. It is here and you just got to wait & witness. Thank you so much. I hope y'all have a fantastic day!

See you tonight at the Meet the Patrons zoom call! 💖